you dont even know

you piss me off so much
i hate that you act like you are the center of the universe
i hate that you make me listen to all your problems
but then you shut me up when i need you to listen to mine.

you took a risk. and you failed. now stop trying to fix everything.
its done. it will never go back to how it was before. yes that sucks for you.
but you should have thought about this before you took that risk.
stop complaing that it didnt turn out the way you wanted it to.
get over it. this is life.

also stop acting like as if you and your boyfriend just broke up
because in order to break up with someone.. you have to be going out with them first
YOU NEVER WENT OUT WITH HIM!
you guys "hung out" once and that was it!
you were not "dating", you were "talking"
GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK HEAD!


thats all for now.

it sucks to be me

ughh today was horrible.
she prolly hates me now!
its not my fault i suck at life.
i was so happy that we were finally becoming good friends
[especially after what happened freshman year]
and now i prolly ruined everything and shes gonna hate me.
worst of all, she is prolly telling everyone about what happened.
i can just picture her talking to everyone about it
and blaming the whole thing on me.

the only good thing that came out of this project
is that i found the most beautiful Shakespeare quote ever
"His words are bonds, his oaths are oracles
His love sincere, his thoughts immaculate
His tears pure messengers sent from his heart
His heart as far from fraud, as heaven from earth"

dream of demons while you sleep that make you stutter when you speak

so many mixed emotions today.
like a freaking roller coaster
not that i would know..
since ive never been on one.

all i do is wish, dream, and then feel sorry for myself
when it doesnt turn out the way i had hoped.
i'm sick of wishing and dreaming.
i want life to be a fairytale. i want prince charming
to kiss me awake, sing me a romantic song,
and then love me forever and ever.

happily ever after

I thought that we'd make it because you said that we'd make it through.

i found something that i wrote the night it happened.

"I'm not quite sure what i intend to do with this letter after i write it. i know im definitely not going to send it to you. i didnt write this to make you feel sorry or bad or whatever. i just really need to get my feelings out and tell you whats going on in my head..
you really hurt me. i dont understand how you can say that you like me, but dont want to be in a relationship with me. idk. maybe someday that will happen to me and then i'll understand. or maybe not. I really thought this was going to last and you told me you thought it would last. and everything seemed to be going great, but i guess not. 
it went by too fast. i feel like im not done with you. i feel like you didnt give
me a chance to open up to you and show you the real me.  i hate that you didnt give me a chance to fall in love with you. part of me hopes that somehow you will wake up one morning and realize that you want to be with me. but another part of me just wants to move on and find someone 10x better than you. hmm i think i'll go with the second one.

oh and one more thing.. next time you like a girl, make sure you "want a relationship" before you ask her out. because thats probably one of the gayest reasons to break up with someone. and its not exactly fun to end up with a broken heart.
thanks for ruining 11.11 for me."


i think its funny how much this effected me.
11days later and im totally over him.
well maybe not totally.. but im definitely okay
and ready to move on and find my next victim.

thats all for now
dont sleep..

jealousy is a green-eyed monster

dont want to think.
just want to forget
but at the same time not forget
because it was one of the most amazing feelings ever.
undescribable. literally. since i cannot even pretend anymore.
3rd times the charm right?

ps. im being haunting by 6:37
i dont like those kinds of flashbacks.